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Choose your Love & Love your Choice.

Life is full of choices. Some say that our choices define us. Others say there is no right or wrong choice, as long as it makes you happy. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to choose.

Love is a choice. We choose what we love. We love because we find some factor that fills us with emotions or gratification. One of the most important places to make a conscious effort to love is within our families. As we grow older, we develop new relationships, with a spouse, children, friends or other individuals that may limit our connection to our parents or siblings.

As our parent’s age, they will become more dependent on their family for help. As their physical and mental health decline, the need for help and assistance grows. This can present unique opportunities and challenges for loved ones caring for an aging parent.

I have seen many families struggle with the need to make a choice. So many times families find themselves unprepared to make a difficult choice. When faced with a challenging situation, our emotions can cloud our judgment and make it difficult to think critically or clearly.

Before you are faced with a difficult situation with your parents, here are a few suggestions to help prepare for the future;

• Communicate: Open a line of communication with your parents and siblings. Talk frequently and create an understanding of everyone’s expectations
• Have a plan: Create an idea of what the best case scenario would be and work to create that in your loved one’s life. Plan for the best, but you need to prepare now for the worst. Understand the possibilities and have a plan for variations and deviations from your best case scenario.
• Record: write down what you discuss. A dull pencil is better than a sharp mind. Keep a record of what you discuss and what expectations your parents have.
• Decide: The hardest thing to do at times is decide, especially when there is no plan in place. Making a difficult decision is never easy, however, it can become easier if others share in the decision-making process. Involve your parents, siblings and loved ones in the planning.

Own your choices. Make them and own them. As simple as it sounds, it is hard to do. Often, this requires us to make difficult decisions after we carefully analyze the information available to us. The more you prepare for hard decisions, the better equipped you will be to make them.